


That's Neat!

by AllHailProHeroThirteen04102016



Series: First Time Writing (And Making a Shitton of Writer Mistakes) [12]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Crack, Gen, Mary Sue, Playing with Fanfic Tropes, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:54:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25796986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllHailProHeroThirteen04102016/pseuds/AllHailProHeroThirteen04102016
Summary: Julia was just another Muggleborn bitch in Hufflepuff.
Relationships: Harry Potter & Original Female Character(s)
Series: First Time Writing (And Making a Shitton of Writer Mistakes) [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1720624
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	That's Neat!

**Author's Note:**

> It's an utterly random idea I got.

_What is **wrong** with you?!_ Was written on her left arm, in horrid handwriting.

There's a lot of things wrong with her, Julia knew. She was five when she understood what a soulmark was and what those words really meant. Tried her best to be normal before giving up when she turned eleven and an _Owl_ arrived before a witch did at the Ramirez household.

Hogwarts! A school of magic!

While the professor witch and her parents were conversing about possible witch ancestry, Julia was already planning to buy ad many books as possible. Educational books can't be boring if they're so weird and magic!

Unlike how most people went about their soulmarks, Julia didn't want to try entertaining the idea of them required to love the other; she wouldn't force anything like that! Plus, this soulmark thing? For all she knew it's just meant for people who would make the most significant change in their life! They could be enemies!

Having an enemy as a soulmate sounds way better.

And add magic into the mix? Hell yes! More drama!

Julia is a forgettable kid, so she's gonna milk out entertainment in her life as much as she can before she gets killed by her soulmate.

Because yes, she likes that idea, for the sake of dramatic irony. The professor witch wasn't exactly subtle at them being not updated on how Muggles worked anymore, and treated her parents with less respect than her. The magical world was probably way behind everything.

The books are pure bullshit when it came to Harry Potter, a baby.

Avaaaadaaaa Kedavraaaaaaaa.

Poor kid. The newspaper have been selling propaganda based on his existence.

Magic!Jesus is gonna be in for a surprise when he sees stuff about having Voldemort/Wizard!Satan as his soulmate.

Ha! So that _was_ possible!

So! Hogwarts!

And magic world in general.

It's gross, and Julia wouldn't want to live there. No, not because of the creatures, but because of how much their bigotry reminded her of how police officers or people in general treated her Auntie Nene just because of her skin color.

But she still needed to go to this school so that she can learn how to control her magic. Hmp!

Her other fellow first years are whispering stuff like getting sorted into Houses has a test, maybe educational, maybe fighting, and oh boy Julia wished she brought a gun to this place if it was going to be so dangerous! There's an incident about people getting petrified last year, whatever that meant.

Aaand there's a talking hat.

(Can she have one of those? It seems better company than the squealing pigs around her.)

They put it on to get Sorted?

Huh.

"That's neat!" She says.

"What do you mean by 'neat'?! It's invasive!" Someone next to her frets.

She shrugged. "Maybe magic world has a different idea on human rights?"

The Hat was a nice guy/thing.

But it's taking too long! They're having a nice conversation but people are already whispering stuff. "There's another one," they say. Oh, so this thing is common? She has nothing to fear then.

"SLYTHERI--" It cut itself off.

_It wouldn't do to enable you. Or steer you to that path._

"Ha?" She asked, confused.

The inbred children at the green table were giving her Looks. Oh _shit_.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" It shrieks.

_THANK GOD._

Cue confused clapping.

She gets off the chair and gives the hat to a professor witch.

"If I'm Slytherpuff, does that mean I'll be put in Ravenclaw?"

One of the teachers coughs.

"What do you mean?"

She points at the table. "The table between Hufflepuff and Slytherin is Ravenclaw? Is that not how it works?"

A plump witch snatches her away. "I'll be taking that!"

"Guess I'm Hufflepuff now."

"The Hat saved you," one of them says.

"It did. I'm not one for inbreeding."

"Wha, I mean theynhate Muggleborn."

"THEY CAN'T TOUCH ME. I'M AMAZING."

One of the older kids snickered. "Superiority complex? Gasp. Go back to the dungeons, ye snake."

"Please, call me God."

"I'm Pagan."

"Then I shall be your new religion."

"GO TO SLEEP."

"Do you think Harry Potter is Voldie's soulmate?"

"Have you been reading shitty tabloids?"

"Nah, just Wizard News."

"Same thing."

School is boring.

Hufflepuff kept getting hexed for some reason.

Julia learns how to reflect the spell back at the caster without using a wand.

Teachers are _useless_.

And why is there politics here?

Julia points her wand at a certain someone in the Gryffindor class.

"Avada--" The professor disarms her without any incantation. To make up for it, she does jazz hands. "KEDAVRA!"

The class was a weird mix of reactions.

Green eyes burn with anger at her unjust treatment towards him. "What is wrong with you?!" Then his eyes widened.

She gasps, delighted at the sudden burn in her arm. She wasn't sure that souls actually existed until something in her felt _whole_.

"WE'RE SOULMATES!" She yells, pulling her sleeve. "HOLY FUCK AM I VOLDEMORT?"

There was a new wave of different reactions.

"Blimey mate, you can stop angsting over You-know-what!"

"Shut up, Ron!"


End file.
